Peanuts

When Lee was just a year old, she had a skin reaction to peanut butter. She again had a reaction to what we concluded to be peanut oil. So, for the last few years, we have been pretty strict on her exposure to peanuts. For example, last year, we notified the school and asked that they not serve it for snack. They did however allow other kids to bring pb&j and they would sit Lee on another table, away from that child. No problem.

This year, her school is peanut free because there are two others that have significant allergic reactions.

Well, at Lee's 4 year old check up, Dr. F recommended we carry an epi-pen and he referred Lee to the allergist. On Friday, we went to the allergist and he did the skin prick test. Sure enough, she had a reaction. The scary thing is, she had a "significant" reaction. So, not only do we need to have an epi-pen at all times, we also have an action plan that we need to get the school to go along with. (Side note: when I talked with the teacher about the epi-pen a couple weeks ago, she told me that they have to get approval from the Honolulu school doctor and they may not be able to use it unless he says okay. I just hope they do not say that they cannot accommodate her because of legal issues...the school is famous for "our way or the highway".)

Another thing the doctor shared was that because she is asthematic, she is at higher risk for the distressed breathing reaction. Scary!!! We will now alert the school, our families, and others who will need to be aware of her situation. The doctor even recommended telling the staff at any restaurants we visit so they take more precautions to avoid cross contamination. We even need to be aware of candy too.

Some people wonder, why get strict now? Well, all it takes is one incident. We will never know if or when that one time happens. Luckily, her previous incidents were limited to hives and vomit, and not distress. But, the next one might be worse. So, for now, I will be checking twice. I will be limiting her intake, and I will not stop shy of making it very clear that she is at risk.

P.S. After the dr. apt., we explained to Lee what it all meant. (Basically the same as before since she has been trained from a young age to ask if there are peanuts and she knows to stay away.) She then told us that 2 of the kids in her class brought pb&j sandwiches this week for lunch...at a peanut free school. So, I will need to speak to the teachers again and I think I may write a friendly note to the other parents explaining the situation. I just wish other parents were more understanding.

Mac Grill and more

We took the kids out for a nice dinner at Mac Grill. They were great and had fun seeing the holiday lights.




Here they all are getting their chocolate covered ice cream. Can you tell how much they loved it!










We attempted to get our group shot for Nana's holiday picture. Here are some options...

High End Developments Have Great Beach Access!!!

We had a great day at the beach last weekend. We went to a beach in an upscale development here. Access the the beach is limited to the number of parking stalls in the beach lot so I decided to get there early. We arrived at 8:30 and there was only one other car (a guy who was net fishing).

After walking a little paved path, we got to the beach to find nobody else but the maintenance people. It was great. Then, at about 9:15, we saw a pod of dolphins playing in the ocean just fronting our area. It was spectacular. There were probably 20-30 dolphins and they were jumping and spinning as they passed by. The kids were so excited.

After an hour of having the beach all to ourselves, another family came. Then, it started to fill up yet it was still enjoyable. We fell in love with that beach and will be going there again the day after Thanksgiving. I can't wait.

My beautiful beach girl in her favorite bikini. It was actually a gift for Lee on her first birthday but the type of cut it is never worked for Lee's figure so it has always been one Bell wears. Guess what size it is? Size 2T.


Lee was burying my feet in the sand and then I got to bury her. She loved it!


The best part about the beach is that everyone can be entertained. Sonny had a blast filling up the buckets with sand and water. So simple yet so entertaining. Ah, life on the beach!


Em also enjoyed the sand. She too was happy just making sand castles without needing to be with anyone else.


Four happy kids and a happy mommy. What more could I ask for???

Is This Normal???

If you know me, you know that my house is always a work in progress. It can be super clean one day and look like a hurricane the next. But, what I have come to realize is, in order to have a manageably (however you spell it if it is a word....one that I can manage with ease) clean house, I need to get rid of things.

I think I get the initial sickness from my Grams. I mean, you should have seen me, my mom, and my cousin Jess cleaning out her place when she passed. We found things from 30 years prior. My mom is similar. She doesn't throw things away. Do you really need to keep a copy of a thank you note someone sent you 15 years ago? I don't think so.

So, lately, I have been in this "get rid" mode. I know I don't like to get rid of stuff because I have an emotional attachment but I also know I need to. Today, I just tossed. Have I looked at it in the last month, nope, gone. Like, the quick reference sheet for my cel phone. I've never used it but it is still sitting in a pile on my computer space. GONE. Old magazines, gone. Even my husband's Sports Illa issues (that are only a couple weeks old), gone.


This get rid mode has also spilled over to the kids' stuff. There are some toys that we have had since Bell was born. She's 5 1/2 now. I think it has gotten good use. Gone. Actually, I took 5 bags of "stuff" and donated it to the dept of human services this week so I would feel better about getting rid of it.

With a few weeks til the holidays, I will be on a mission to really clear things out. This will be a lean season as we really want to eliminate the clutter rather than replace it. Wish me luck!

Rodeo Time

Sorry no photos yet. I got my new camera but shot the pictures in high something or other which causes it to take up too much memory.

But, we headed out to the k-e-i-k-i rodeo this weekend and had a blast. My niece Hailey and her brother Kahi both did great. And my kids loved it. You can tell that mine are city kids. Both Lee and Sonny were using the rope to lasso the cone with the wrong end of the rope (not the loop).

When living on Oahu, I never stopped to enjoy the simpler things in life. Life, was all about the fast lane. Where to send my kids for preschool, which school am I gonna test for Kindergarten, which social group did so-and-so belong to, etc.

Now, life is much simpler. Going to rodeo reminds me of that. Sitting and watching the horse running by while gazing at the mountains in beautiful Waimea or watching my kids play in the dirt as if they are free as can be. Watching Kahi sit on his horse while waiting for the calf to leave the shoot or watching Hailey chase a calf around the arena trying to rope it. That is peaceful. It makes me stop and think. It allows me to realize that these kids are doing something not every kid gets to do or even experience.

Parent Teacher Conferences

We attended our first "real" parent teacher conference this week for Bell. Overall, great. On the other hand, there are some areas she needs help with.

Actually, the conference started with the teacher telling us that it must be interesting living with Bell. Well, it kinda is. For example, sometimes, Bell will talk and answer you and things are fine and dandy. Other times, you can ask her something and she will just look at you. And look at you. And look at you. I guess she does that in school too. The problem with that is that there are subject areas that are evaluated based on verbal participation. For example, science and social studies are done in circle time. When the teacher calls on Bell, she just stares or if the teacher opens it up for answers, she doesn't volunteer. No answers, so no way of evaluating if she is getting it or not.

Bell is shy. Always has been. I ran into the school counselor (who happens to be a friend of ours) and while talking, she also shared that Bell doesn't talk to her in school either. But, "Aunty" is going to work with Bell to get her to break out of this behavior.

Oh, and one more bit of info we got during the conference, she kicked a boy that day. This, mind you, is the second such incident. The first time she hit a boy, he was trying to hug her and she hauled off and smacked him. I don't know if I am disappointed in her hitting other kids or I'm proud of her for sticking up for herself and not letting boys get away with bugging her.

The Tough Discussions Begin

What? What tough discussions you ask? Well, they are starting. You know. The ones about her looks. She's only 5 years old and already, she is starting to ask.

Tonight, Bell and I had a little "talk time". Actually, I was on the toilet and she came in while the others were bathing to "keep you company mom". Midway through our random conversation, she said, "I wish I looked like you." What do you mean, I asked. You know, your face. Immediately I thought back to the comments (completely innocent) my mom made about Em looking and acting just as I did when I was a little girl. Was Bell talking about not looking like me? Was she noticing that the other girls have my features and she doesn't?

I briefly brought up the fact that I have green/blue eyes and everyone else in our house has brown and that she, Sonny and daddy all have darker skin than me. Then, Lee happened in on our conversation and pipped in that "All of us are different."

We ended the conversation by talking about the fact that although we don't all look alike, no matter what, we are all family and they are both sisters.

I sometimes wonder (as smart as she is) if she is already struggling with an issue of not being the same as me and the other girls. Let's hope we are doing things right and she never feels as though she is different.

Something in my head

Okay people, if you have never adopted or have never been adopted and you want to know information or how to reference people within the adoptive family, here it goes...

1. My adopted children ARE MY CHILDREN.
2. Yes, my biological kids are my "real" kids, but, last time I checked, the adopted ones are real too.
3. When I look at my kids, I do not see biological and adopted, I see MY kids.
4. If one child is dark skinned (due to his Filipino, African American, Hawaiian and Puerto Rican blood), and the other is light (due to being more than 75% white), they are not twins.
5. You only need to ask me once if they are ALL my kids. If I say yes, don't ask me again as if I didn't comprehend the question you just asked me.
6. And lastly, if I tell you that my last two kids are 8 1/2 months apart (which they are), don't ask me if my husband and I did the deed in the hospital following giving birth or that we "don't waste time".


People ask the dumbest, most annoying questions and say even dumber things. I get so mad when people will refer to my kids as my real kids or "which ones are not your real ones?" When we got our oldest daughter, she instantly became our daughter. I have never, ever seen her as anything else. As a matter of fact, when we talk, I tell her that she is special because she is my first child. Before her, there were no children in our family. When we kiss goodnight, I tell her, just as I tell the others, that I love her to the moon and stars and back. And I mean it with all my heart. The other day, we were having a talk on her bed and I told her that she has a special spot in my heart, just like Lee, Sonny and Em. When I look at her, I see my beautiful little girl. I don't see an adopted kid. I don't see someone else's child. She is mine as if she is my flesh and blood.

And then there is my son, who is a mama's boy. I wouldn't change that for the world. He too is mine. I see him as my one and only son. My boy. And I love him as such.

In my mind, and in my heart, my kids are my kids. No matter the color of their skin or where they came from, I love them with every piece of me and I do not see them by labels. But, other people do and it bothers me.

Do people think that by saying things in front of the kids that they (the kids) don't hear them? That the kids don't understand? That the kids might feel uncomfortable?

Please, you can ask me about my story, but don't use my story against anyone. Think before you speak. Remember that there are kids in front of you who listen to everything and take in everything you say.

SO, NO MATTER IF THE CHILD CAME OUT OF ME OR SOMEONE ELSE, THAT CHILD IS MY CHILD AND I AM HIS/HER MOTHER. THAT'S ALL WE KNOW AND THAT IS ALL WE CARE. Labels like adoptive and biological have no presence in our lives and shouldn't in yours.

Brew 808, Aunty Liz and Aunty Gigi

I just want to say thank you for always reading and commenting. It makes me want to write more. You've inspired me to write my story and maybe put it in book form someday. I'll continue the "How we became" series when I have a little more time.

Mahalo nui!

Juggling Act

Now that I have been working my part time job for the last 3 months or so, I am starting to wonder, "how do mothers do it?"

I know that my situation is a little different since my kids are so close in age. I also know that there are other people who have multiples who make things work. BUT, I wonder sometimes if I am just lazy or they (parents with multiples or larger families) are just better at being parents/homemakers/wives/etc.

I grew up experiencing so much in life, camping, sailing, sporting events, etc. But, our house was never perfectly clean. That wasn't a priority. It was more important for us to chase the swells for my dad than it was to stay home and clean house.

This leads me to the difference between my husband and I with respect to priorities. If it was his way, our house would be spotless and I would not go "holoholo" so much. I agree that I don't want my house to be a mess, but, I don't want to stay stuck home everyday cleaning.

Anyone who knows my husband's parents knows that their house is immaculate. The kind of house where you don't want to put your drink on the table for fear of leaving evidence. On the other hand, my mom has crap all around.

So, which is better? I don't know. But, what I do know is that I would rather hang out with my kids than clean house. I would rather experience life that stay home and got stir crazy. But, I also know that the house needs to be cleaned. Just when? I work 2 and 1/2 days of the week. On my days off, I do laundry, clean bathrooms, and get caught up with other parental things.

My question is, how do other mom's do it and still keep a clean home and juggle work, cooking, running kids around, monitoring homework, volunteering in the classes, bed time stories, etc.? I just don't get how to do all of it and I'd love to get some ideas.

Lee's 4 and Em's 2 year check ups

The kids are getting so big. We went to their check ups yesterday and they checked out great. They are both growing like weeds. The only things we need to watch for...Lee had a little bit of a hard time with some of her vision test and she had a hard time with the softer sounds of the hearing test. I'm not too worried since her hearing was just tested by an audiologist about 6 months ago and it was okay.

This is Aunty Chris, the nurse at the doctor's office. We love her!


Our pediatrician with Lee. He is really good and although our doctor on Oahu was amazing, he has turned out to be pretty good. Not quite as good as "Aunty Doctor" but nobody will ever be as good as her. I think Lee has a crush on this one.

What to do when the kids are out of school?

That is a no-brain-er. We've gone to both parks, the community pool, and...

RIDING...yippy

Hailey is an awesome rider and she gave the kids rides. This is "KC", who was given to Hailey's family from a man in Reno. KC is an older horse and very mellow.


My future cowgirl riding with Hailey. Lee looks up to Hailey and wants to be able to ride just like her.

Look who else got on a horse...Daddy. He had fun too.


Country life. This picture is so great. This is the life we are so blessed with and we are enjoying every moment of it. The farther from the city, the more at peace we are.

Happy Birthday Em!

We started off Em's birthday with a trip to our favorite park. I made spam musubi and bought some ono shortbread dipped cookies. The kids loved it.


Since daddy had to work, he didn't get a chance to spend much time with us on Em's birthday so we went to another park to play and eat dinner. I made lamb and garlic shrimp (both of Em's favorites). Here is daddy with the birthday girl.


The best part of birthdays, cake!


Sonny thought the cupcake cake was delicious.


Since I rarely get pictures of my kids, I thought I would get one with Em. Guess who took this picture. Yup, Bella did. She is really good at taking pictures. She has a great eye for angles and centering.


All in all, it was a fun filled day and Em seemed to enjoy her birthday.

On a funny note, when asking her how old she is, she says "fou" (as in four) holing up one finger.

Our baby is growing up so fast.

It's Lee says the funniest things...

While at daddy's warehouse today, the kids wanted to ride bikes and use their new safety protection. So, Lee decides to put on all the "stuff". Daddy, where are the "knee paddles and the elbert paddles." Yup elbow and knee pads are now called elbert and knee paddles.

I was waiting for her to also ask me to turn on the sun.

Are you ready for some football?

I grew up watching football. Lots of football. My mom would take us to watch her students play and I loved it. Every Friday or Saturday, we would drive all over the island to watch the high school team. On Wednesdays, we would head up to the high school and watch the junior varsity team play. It was a part of our life.

I also watched a lot of football on Sundays as well. You can say my family was a football machine.

So, here I am, I married a man who can take it or leave it. Before kids, I had to convince him to go to UH games. High school games, to him, were boring. To me, there is so much excitement and unpredictability. I just love it.

Now that we live away from home, my kids don't get to experience the games I did as a kid. I miss that. And, daddy isn't into going to high school games for no reason. Me, I would go watch our neighborhood team just because it is football. Not him.

So, I ran into our cousin whose two sons play for another school here. After talking for a few minutes, I found out that they were playing on Saturday. I convinced my husband that we should go watch the boys play. Amazingly, he was game.

We got there just at kickoff and watched into the 3rd quarter. I made sure we stayed through half time so Lee could watch the cheerleaders perform. (She wants to be a cheerleader, toilet fixer and a mom when she grows up.)

Everyone had a great time, including daddy. And, they all enjoyed ice pops during the game too. The highlight for my son, seeing the fire truck up close when we left the field. Everyone was happy...especially me!

Sorry, this is the only picture I got of the evening...I was too busy having fun at the game!

Chop, chop

Anyone who knows me knows that I never take care of myself. Most days I don't wear makeup. My hair is mostly up in a pony tail or bun. Shaved legs, are you kidding, that is why I wear jeans 80% of the time. When the legs get shaved, the shorts and skirt are on in full swing and then it is back to the jeans.

The last time I got a hair cut was at Super cuts and it was a simple, clean up the ends please. I decided I needed some real cutting help so I went to a salon.

There is a difference.

So, here are the pictures...

BEFORE

and, AFTER

Since the cut, I have worn my hair down more than up. I am loving it and the weight of it is so nice. I also changed shampoos and have seen better results. And, no, I did not buy the shampoo from the salon.

My first big outing without help

Last weekend, I decided to suck it up and take all 4 kids to the parade in Waimea. I was worried about things like, "I gotta go to the bathroom" in the middle of the parade and having to gather up everyone and everything and loose our spot on the parade route. Or, what if my son runs into the road, or the kids start loosing it because of the heat. All these things usually dictate our mobilization but on this day, I was game for the challenge. So, we loaded up and took the 45 minute drive out to beautiful cowboy country.

The kids were great. We didn't stay til the very end because Miss Bell decided that she wanted to leave and would not let up. After 45 minutes in the sun, everyone was pretty ready to leave. All in all, I would do it again...but not any time too soon.

Here is a pa'u rider on a beautiful horse. The kids were so excited to see all the pretty horses and floral adornment.


This paniolo was part of the parade route officials. He brought his horse right up to us and Sonny was in cowboy heaven. He is madly in love with horses and cowboys. You can just imagine the excitement in his eyes when this horse can within reach of him.


Here we are in our spot before the parade began. We had pretty good seats and lots of nice people around us.


We also headed over to the food court to use the restrooms before and after the parade. Inside, we found this art display of decorated turtles. Here are some of them that the kids liked.


My favorite! A cowboy and his horse having a special moment.

Growing up and saying funny things

We have always taught our kids to do things for themselves at a very young age. All our kids could dress themselves before they were 2 years of age. Even Em, who turns two this October picks out her own clothes and gets dressed with minimal assistance when needed.

Bell was only 15 months old when Lee was born. Lee was 15 months when Cody came home. And, Cody was 8 1/2 months when Em entered the club. So, all of them feed themselves early, talked early and dressed themselves early. But, now that there are no knew babies around, is there really any reason to push them into more independence?

The newest independent milestone is that Bell is showering on her own. She is 5 years now and I felt that it was the right time for her to start. She is learning to recognize which bottle is the shampoo and which is the baby wash. She actually does a really good job washing her hair and her body.

But, their are always those funny times when a child is learning something new and they don't know the correct terms or how to say what they really mean. So, the other night, Lee came out of the bathroom into the living room where both my husband and I were. "Mommy, can you turn off the cold water heater and turn on the warm one?" Lee said. Huh?!? Turn off the cold water heater. Um, I've never heard of that one before. My husband went to go check it out and discovered that the water was taking a little longer than normal to warm up and Bell wanted us to turn on the water heater to warm up the water.

Hahaha, turn off the cold water heater mom! I thought it was funny.

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Seven)

In mid December of 2003, we attended a court hearing for our daughter. The hearing was to formally terminate the parental rights of her biological parents and set in motion the process of adoption.

I was in heaven. I was finally a mother and our daughter was growing and thriving. Other than being a picky eater, she was doing great and with the support of occupational therapy and public health nursing, she was overcoming the effects of being addicted to ice.

The court hearing went great and the Judge was so kind to us. He even told us that he looked forward to seeing us for the adoption hearing, which is his favorite part of being a judge. The judge set the adoption hearing for 6 months from that hearing. We were excited.

Meanwhile, we celebrated our first Christmas as a family of 3. It was so much fun! Since we now had a child, there were people who normally didn't buy us gifts that were coming to visit or scheduling time with us. Pure joy!

One such friend was Cheryl. Cheryl and I worked at the law firm together and we had become really good friends. Cheryl and I met up for lunch the Saturday after Christmas. She wanted to spend some time together and she wanted to play with Bell. While at lunch, my nose started to drain. It was as if it was stuffed, yet I was not feeling sick at all.

I mentioned this to Cheryl (that my nose was stuffed but I wasn't sick) and she said, "Are you pregnant?" Hahaha...what a comedian you are Cheryl! "Uh, not that I know of," I replied. Truthfully, there was no reason for me to even think I would be pregnant. Remember, I was told that there was no chance of getting pregnant without technology, and, with technology, I didn't get pregnant.

The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I went to the store and got a pregnancy test without telling my husband. I did the test and it was positive. When he got home, I told him and he told me not to get my hopes up. The next day (Monday), I took another test (which was positive again) and called my OBGYN to schedule a test.

Prior to going to the doctors, my husband kept telling me not to get my hopes up. What hopes? I didn't need to get pregnant anymore. I was already a mommy.

The nurse called us in after I gave my urine sample. She was an older Asian nurse who had no personality. I sat at the blood pressure/weighing station and she matter of factly told me "It's positive." Oh my goodness, I thought. My husband's first response... he asked the nurse "How accurate is your test." (Okay, go ahead and laugh.) Without hesitation, the nurse said, "It's accurate," as if to say, "That's a stupid male question." Then, she proceeded to ask us questions such as what we wanted to do, keep or terminate, when my last cycle was (which I had given up keeping track of since there was no need to really worry about it), what pregnancy is this, etc. The best question was about the kid we had with us, our Bell who was 6 months old. "Are you babysitting?" Uh, no, this is our daughter. And then of course we had to explain that I had not given birth before and that she was a foster child that we are planning to adopt. "Wow, you gonna have your hands full," she told us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't burst my bubble before it is fully inflated, I thought.

We were both in complete shock. Of course, we couldn't keep it a secret to our families so we told them immediately. I'll never forget how we told my in-laws. A couple weeks prior, my husband's older brother told his mom that she would need to make another Christmas stocking because they were expecting a baby. So, my husband said to his mom, "I need to ask you to make another stocking." Her initial reaction was, "What, why, what do you mean?" So we told her and she started to cry.

The funny thing is that about a month later, my husband's younger brother also needed to have a stocking made. Three sister-in-laws pregnant at the same time. Each 5 weeks apart from each other. And the order of pregnancy followed the birth order of the brothers. Pretty darn cool!

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Six)

Day 1

Tuesday morning. Another waiting period. The social worker was going to call the hospital sometime in the morning to find out what was going on. From there, she would call us and have more information as to when we would be able to pick up our newborn baby. We waited and waited and waited.

And then, the phone rang. Nope, was somebody else. Finally, the social worker called and let us know that the baby would definitely be released at 10 in the morning. We were to bring a change of clothes for the baby, a blanket and a car seat. No problem.

According to the social worker, the baby was having a difficult time in the nursery. Since she had tested positive for crystal meth, she was now experiencing the typical signs of meth withdrawls, fussy, didn't want to be touched, not eating well, sensitivity to light, etc. Oh my goodness, what have we gotten into?

Before leaving for the hospital, we told our families that we would be home sometime after 11 and that the baby was not having a good morning and to expect her not to want to be held or around lots of commotion. They understood.

After completing all the paperwork at the hospital waiting area, the social worker escorted us into the nursery. I was beyond nervous. I wasn't nervous about the baby, I was nervous that someone would see us. I didn't want anyone from the birth family to know who we were. Here we were, taking their baby. What would they do? What would they say?

When we got into the nursery, the nurses were busy tending to other babies. One nurse grabbed our baby and began instructing us on umbilical chord stuff and follow-up instructions. She then placed the baby into her car seat, strapped her in and asked if we had any questions. Uh, uh, uh. All I could think was, when do we get to hold her? Oh my goodness, those eyes are big and beautiful. Wow, is this really happening? I was in shock more so than I was the day before.

The social worker needed to do more paperwork with the hospital so she sent us on our way. We left the area and headed for the elevator. I was still nervous and kept looking over my shoulder making sure nobody was following us. We got in the elevator and proceeded to the ground floor, baby in tow. The elevator stopped on the 3rd floor and a woman entered. "Oh how cute. How old is she?" she asked. I said, "3 days old." Her response, "My goodness you look great." Hahaha! I confessed that she was a foster baby. My husband thought it would have been funny to just say thank you and let her think that I had given birth and was back to my 130 pounds like nothing.

We got in the car and headed home. Our little girl didn't make a sound. I kept thinking, is she okay? I mean, the nurses had said that she was having withdrawls and she was having a bad morning yet, she was fine.

We got home and there were decorations outside with "Welcome Home" and "It's a Girl" signs and balloons. Our family was excited! Throughout the day, people stopped by to visit. Our daughter did just fine. I don't recall her even crying that first day. She was actually very easy.

What's her name? Well, when she left the hospital, she did not have a name. Her legal name was Unnamed Female Girl (insert birth mother's last name). The birth parents didn't bother to give her a name. Meanwhile, when we went through our training, they had told us that babies are sometimes given names by their birth parents but we may be able to choose a name for them so we should be ready with boy and girl names just in case. So, we were ready. Her first name is the Hawaiian name for Angel, since she is our little angel. (On this blog, I refer to her as Bell.)

I also forgot to mention, Bell is my mom's 1st grandchild. She also shares my mom's birthday. Yup, both were born on May 17th. This was an extra special birthday for my mom.

The first of many father/daughter moments.

Dinner Tonight

It has been awhile since I've made chicken long rice. It's one of my father-in-law's favorite that I used to make for him every so often when I lived next door. The recipe is super easy. I learned it from my best buddy Tashia.

Place boneless skinless chicken thighs in a large pot with water (to cover chicken) and 3-4 slices of ginger. Once boiling, reduce to simmer for about an hour or so until chicken is fully cooked and easy to shred. Remove chicken and shred. Add a couple of cups more of water. Bring to boil then add bouillon. I usually add several 6-7 teaspoons depending on how much water is in the pot. Add diced onions and long rice noodles. DO NOT soak them prior to putting in the pot. Reduce heat to low and let noodles cook. Taste soap and add bouillon as needed for taste. Sprinkle with green onions.

YUMMY!

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Five)

I will never forget the night of May 17, 2003. We were celebrating the wedding of one of my husband's cousins at the Ranch in Waimanalo. People were dancing and having a good time and I was sitting outside the large white tent talking story with Lyn.

Lyn's husband and my husband are not only cousins, they are best of friends. Over the years, Lyn and I have gotten very close and both she and her husband have been very supportive of us and our pregnancy issues. When they got pregnant with their first child, they were very sensitive about how we would take it.

Back to that night. Lyn asked me how things were going. "So, what's up with the whole adoption stuff?" she said. My reply, "I dunno". "I 'm not holding my breath. When it happens, it happens."

By then, I had partly given up. It had been over 4 months since our home had been licensed and there hadn't been a single call for placement. Truthfully, I stopped thinking about it daily and I was just living my life as a childless married person.

That was a Saturday evening.

Monday morning, I showed up to work as usual. I went about my daily routine and seemed to be having a normal day. Nothing overly exciting. I went to lunch and returned to see the message light on my phone blinking. Normally, I would have waited a little while before checking it but for some reason, I decided to retrieve the messages.

"Hi, this is ______ from Child and Family Services. We have a child that is being released from the hospital tomorrow and we need to know if you are willing to take her in. Please call me back as soon as possible. " Holy you know what!

I immediately called my husband and told him about the call. Then, I called the Social Worker back and got a little more information. She was born on Saturday (the 17th), she tested positive for ice, and a few other details. Yes, we will take her. What do I need to do?

I left work immediately and so did my husband. We met at home and were in complete shock. The social worker came to the house that afternoon to give us paperwork and a little more information. It was amazing yet unbelievable. Is this really happening? Will she be with us forever? Are we ready? What do we need? So much was going through our heads. Joy. Fear. Excitement. Panic.

Of course, one of the first calls I made was to Lyn. "You are not going to believe this." She was in as much shock as I was. Here we were, the day the baby was born talking about it and low and behold...

We, along with Lyn and her husband, ended up at Walmart that evening buying the essentials. She gave me "been there, done that" advice and steered me to the things I would absolutely need. She also offered up her old stuff to tide us over.

That night, we laid in bed pinching ourselves and also telling each other to "Go to sleep," because it might be the last good night sleep for a long time. Tuesday couldn't come quicker.

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Four)

Here is where the real journey began.

My husband called the phone number on the commercial and signed us up for an orientation meeting. Following the orientation, we began taking classes in order to get certified as foster parents with the intent of adopting.

For several weeks, we attended classes that educated us about foster care and adoption of children who are taken away from their birth families. It was very informative yet very disturbing. For example, during one evening class, we did role playing of what kids in foster care go through. One skit, performed by our fellow classmates, reenacted a scene of a 5 year old child being removed from her parent's home by a CPS social worker and a police officer.

Throughout the training, we learned a lot about both parents who had adopted drug babies as well as children who had been adopted. One guest speaker was an adoptive mother who had taken in a drug baby. She talked about the long term issues she has had to deal with as a result of the drug exposure. Sleepless nights, learning disabilities, and other such issues.

By the end of the training, we had agreed that we only wanted to take in an infant, preferably a newborn from the hospital. As selfish as it may sound, we both agreed that we wanted to start fresh with our child. We wanted to be the only parents he or she would know. The truth is, almost every child that is placed in long term foster care is there as the result of some kind of abuse. The less exposure to the abuse, the better chances for our child. And, we also had to take into account the fact that we had other family members that would be affected by whomever we welcomed into our home. Older children can tend to come with challenges that we did not want to expose our young nieces (who lived downstairs from us at the time) and nephews to.

Training began in September and ended in early December. In addition to the weekly training, we also had to undergo background checks, medical clearances, and a home study. In January, we completed the final phase of certification. We were licensed to take in up to 2 children.

And then, we waited, and waited, and waited, for months to get a call. Nothing. Friends we had made in our class started getting kids, but not us. First was Paul and Bernie. Then Sam and Christy. Everyone seemed to be getting their babies but us. I began to forget about it. There was nothing more we could do but go about our normal lives and hope that there would be a call, someday.

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Three)

Failed technological interventions left us searching for answers. We were at our lowest point and we needed to do something different if we wanted to become parents.

Before we were even married, both my husband and I had talked about wanting to adopt as children. I know for me, I would always see African American children and say, I want to adopt one. For some reason, I never pictured myself adopting a Caucasian child. Strange, but true.

Here we were, the doctors told us that there was nothing different they could do unless we opted to have a surrogate mother. Ugh, no thanks! So, we started looking into adopting. We attended an informational meeting about foreign adoptions, which was discouraging. For starters, in order to adopt in countries like China, you have to be married for a certain amount of time and be 30 years old. We hadn't been married long enough at that point and I wasn't old enough. Then, there was the Cambodia thing where the government had closed down the adoptions. On top of it all, those adoptions cost several thousands of dollars. After just paying for in-vitro, where were we going to come up with the money?

Then, one day, my husband was watching a t.v. commercial about the need for people to adopt local kids. He called the phone number and they say, the rest is history!

Who Got the Camera

I have my suspicions. Probably the son, who likes to take my camera every chance he gets. Nonetheless, I found these photos when I was uploading for my last posts and thought I would share with you all.

Here is the wonderful green carpet in the hallway. Don't blame me, we rent this place...I didn't choose this.

Sonny's bed waiting for a new sheet.

Sonny's room after he and Em have "played" in there. I swear, kids are like hurricanes, they come it, toss things up and never clean up after themselves. Needless to say, the older girls are more like category 5 hurricanes and make even more of a mess. They call it "having a party". I call it, "a disaster".

Thanks Sonny for the pictures!

A Nice Way to Spend a Saturday

My dear friend Lori Ann and her two daughters came to visit. Well, Lori had a conference here so she brought her kids (with encouragement from me) along. We spent the earlier part of the day swimming at the hotel pool. By 1:00, it was agreed upon that the kids must take a nap. So, we headed up to the room and got the kiddos situated. To my amazement, all 4 of my kids and her youngest took a nap. I admit, even I fell asleep while waiting for them to all go down. We returned to the pool after naps and swam for a short time before heading over to the Moonlight Talk Story.

The Talk Story is a free event put on by the hotel every full moon. A surprise artist comes to share their "mana'o" or thoughts through music and story telling. The event is frequented by many residents so it can get a little crowded. We headed over there a little early for the event and the kids had a great time playing. Here is a picture of 3/4 of my kids and Lori's 2 girls..Lala (far left) and Ali (far right).

Can you tell who likes to take pictures? "Tada Mommy!"

Oh, my Bell. She is getting much more girly now. Do you like the pose with the hands behind, shoulder up?


Sonny could not stay away from the rocks. He kept throwing them all over the place. Em tried to join in too.


So, who was the surprise artist??? Brother Nolan. I've never seen him perform in person but I did know a lot of his songs. What I liked about this event was that he would tell stories about the songs. Like, Bye, bye Pua Lane. I never knew it was about his growing up in Kalihi and wanting to leave the low income housing. He wrote the song when he was in 8th grade. Neat!

The kids enjoyed themselves. Here is Lee sitting with Lori (yellow hat) and Lala listening to the music.

Nice smile Bell!

Father and son moment...Daddy wasn't really enjoying the event. He was tired from a long day of work and Sonny was all over the place. This was a rare moment of him sitting down. Maybe it was because Daddy had some food.

And then the sun began to set. This is a picture of the hotel (looking north).

I'm a sunset addict! Living on the west side has fueled a new passion for beautiful sunsets. It never fails to amaze me how beautiful sunsets can be.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a nice shot of the moon. It was equally as amazing as the sunset.

I couldn't have asked for a better Saturday. It was great!