Growing up and saying funny things

We have always taught our kids to do things for themselves at a very young age. All our kids could dress themselves before they were 2 years of age. Even Em, who turns two this October picks out her own clothes and gets dressed with minimal assistance when needed.

Bell was only 15 months old when Lee was born. Lee was 15 months when Cody came home. And, Cody was 8 1/2 months when Em entered the club. So, all of them feed themselves early, talked early and dressed themselves early. But, now that there are no knew babies around, is there really any reason to push them into more independence?

The newest independent milestone is that Bell is showering on her own. She is 5 years now and I felt that it was the right time for her to start. She is learning to recognize which bottle is the shampoo and which is the baby wash. She actually does a really good job washing her hair and her body.

But, their are always those funny times when a child is learning something new and they don't know the correct terms or how to say what they really mean. So, the other night, Lee came out of the bathroom into the living room where both my husband and I were. "Mommy, can you turn off the cold water heater and turn on the warm one?" Lee said. Huh?!? Turn off the cold water heater. Um, I've never heard of that one before. My husband went to go check it out and discovered that the water was taking a little longer than normal to warm up and Bell wanted us to turn on the water heater to warm up the water.

Hahaha, turn off the cold water heater mom! I thought it was funny.

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Seven)

In mid December of 2003, we attended a court hearing for our daughter. The hearing was to formally terminate the parental rights of her biological parents and set in motion the process of adoption.

I was in heaven. I was finally a mother and our daughter was growing and thriving. Other than being a picky eater, she was doing great and with the support of occupational therapy and public health nursing, she was overcoming the effects of being addicted to ice.

The court hearing went great and the Judge was so kind to us. He even told us that he looked forward to seeing us for the adoption hearing, which is his favorite part of being a judge. The judge set the adoption hearing for 6 months from that hearing. We were excited.

Meanwhile, we celebrated our first Christmas as a family of 3. It was so much fun! Since we now had a child, there were people who normally didn't buy us gifts that were coming to visit or scheduling time with us. Pure joy!

One such friend was Cheryl. Cheryl and I worked at the law firm together and we had become really good friends. Cheryl and I met up for lunch the Saturday after Christmas. She wanted to spend some time together and she wanted to play with Bell. While at lunch, my nose started to drain. It was as if it was stuffed, yet I was not feeling sick at all.

I mentioned this to Cheryl (that my nose was stuffed but I wasn't sick) and she said, "Are you pregnant?" Hahaha...what a comedian you are Cheryl! "Uh, not that I know of," I replied. Truthfully, there was no reason for me to even think I would be pregnant. Remember, I was told that there was no chance of getting pregnant without technology, and, with technology, I didn't get pregnant.

The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I went to the store and got a pregnancy test without telling my husband. I did the test and it was positive. When he got home, I told him and he told me not to get my hopes up. The next day (Monday), I took another test (which was positive again) and called my OBGYN to schedule a test.

Prior to going to the doctors, my husband kept telling me not to get my hopes up. What hopes? I didn't need to get pregnant anymore. I was already a mommy.

The nurse called us in after I gave my urine sample. She was an older Asian nurse who had no personality. I sat at the blood pressure/weighing station and she matter of factly told me "It's positive." Oh my goodness, I thought. My husband's first response... he asked the nurse "How accurate is your test." (Okay, go ahead and laugh.) Without hesitation, the nurse said, "It's accurate," as if to say, "That's a stupid male question." Then, she proceeded to ask us questions such as what we wanted to do, keep or terminate, when my last cycle was (which I had given up keeping track of since there was no need to really worry about it), what pregnancy is this, etc. The best question was about the kid we had with us, our Bell who was 6 months old. "Are you babysitting?" Uh, no, this is our daughter. And then of course we had to explain that I had not given birth before and that she was a foster child that we are planning to adopt. "Wow, you gonna have your hands full," she told us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't burst my bubble before it is fully inflated, I thought.

We were both in complete shock. Of course, we couldn't keep it a secret to our families so we told them immediately. I'll never forget how we told my in-laws. A couple weeks prior, my husband's older brother told his mom that she would need to make another Christmas stocking because they were expecting a baby. So, my husband said to his mom, "I need to ask you to make another stocking." Her initial reaction was, "What, why, what do you mean?" So we told her and she started to cry.

The funny thing is that about a month later, my husband's younger brother also needed to have a stocking made. Three sister-in-laws pregnant at the same time. Each 5 weeks apart from each other. And the order of pregnancy followed the birth order of the brothers. Pretty darn cool!

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Six)

Day 1

Tuesday morning. Another waiting period. The social worker was going to call the hospital sometime in the morning to find out what was going on. From there, she would call us and have more information as to when we would be able to pick up our newborn baby. We waited and waited and waited.

And then, the phone rang. Nope, was somebody else. Finally, the social worker called and let us know that the baby would definitely be released at 10 in the morning. We were to bring a change of clothes for the baby, a blanket and a car seat. No problem.

According to the social worker, the baby was having a difficult time in the nursery. Since she had tested positive for crystal meth, she was now experiencing the typical signs of meth withdrawls, fussy, didn't want to be touched, not eating well, sensitivity to light, etc. Oh my goodness, what have we gotten into?

Before leaving for the hospital, we told our families that we would be home sometime after 11 and that the baby was not having a good morning and to expect her not to want to be held or around lots of commotion. They understood.

After completing all the paperwork at the hospital waiting area, the social worker escorted us into the nursery. I was beyond nervous. I wasn't nervous about the baby, I was nervous that someone would see us. I didn't want anyone from the birth family to know who we were. Here we were, taking their baby. What would they do? What would they say?

When we got into the nursery, the nurses were busy tending to other babies. One nurse grabbed our baby and began instructing us on umbilical chord stuff and follow-up instructions. She then placed the baby into her car seat, strapped her in and asked if we had any questions. Uh, uh, uh. All I could think was, when do we get to hold her? Oh my goodness, those eyes are big and beautiful. Wow, is this really happening? I was in shock more so than I was the day before.

The social worker needed to do more paperwork with the hospital so she sent us on our way. We left the area and headed for the elevator. I was still nervous and kept looking over my shoulder making sure nobody was following us. We got in the elevator and proceeded to the ground floor, baby in tow. The elevator stopped on the 3rd floor and a woman entered. "Oh how cute. How old is she?" she asked. I said, "3 days old." Her response, "My goodness you look great." Hahaha! I confessed that she was a foster baby. My husband thought it would have been funny to just say thank you and let her think that I had given birth and was back to my 130 pounds like nothing.

We got in the car and headed home. Our little girl didn't make a sound. I kept thinking, is she okay? I mean, the nurses had said that she was having withdrawls and she was having a bad morning yet, she was fine.

We got home and there were decorations outside with "Welcome Home" and "It's a Girl" signs and balloons. Our family was excited! Throughout the day, people stopped by to visit. Our daughter did just fine. I don't recall her even crying that first day. She was actually very easy.

What's her name? Well, when she left the hospital, she did not have a name. Her legal name was Unnamed Female Girl (insert birth mother's last name). The birth parents didn't bother to give her a name. Meanwhile, when we went through our training, they had told us that babies are sometimes given names by their birth parents but we may be able to choose a name for them so we should be ready with boy and girl names just in case. So, we were ready. Her first name is the Hawaiian name for Angel, since she is our little angel. (On this blog, I refer to her as Bell.)

I also forgot to mention, Bell is my mom's 1st grandchild. She also shares my mom's birthday. Yup, both were born on May 17th. This was an extra special birthday for my mom.

The first of many father/daughter moments.

Dinner Tonight

It has been awhile since I've made chicken long rice. It's one of my father-in-law's favorite that I used to make for him every so often when I lived next door. The recipe is super easy. I learned it from my best buddy Tashia.

Place boneless skinless chicken thighs in a large pot with water (to cover chicken) and 3-4 slices of ginger. Once boiling, reduce to simmer for about an hour or so until chicken is fully cooked and easy to shred. Remove chicken and shred. Add a couple of cups more of water. Bring to boil then add bouillon. I usually add several 6-7 teaspoons depending on how much water is in the pot. Add diced onions and long rice noodles. DO NOT soak them prior to putting in the pot. Reduce heat to low and let noodles cook. Taste soap and add bouillon as needed for taste. Sprinkle with green onions.

YUMMY!

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Five)

I will never forget the night of May 17, 2003. We were celebrating the wedding of one of my husband's cousins at the Ranch in Waimanalo. People were dancing and having a good time and I was sitting outside the large white tent talking story with Lyn.

Lyn's husband and my husband are not only cousins, they are best of friends. Over the years, Lyn and I have gotten very close and both she and her husband have been very supportive of us and our pregnancy issues. When they got pregnant with their first child, they were very sensitive about how we would take it.

Back to that night. Lyn asked me how things were going. "So, what's up with the whole adoption stuff?" she said. My reply, "I dunno". "I 'm not holding my breath. When it happens, it happens."

By then, I had partly given up. It had been over 4 months since our home had been licensed and there hadn't been a single call for placement. Truthfully, I stopped thinking about it daily and I was just living my life as a childless married person.

That was a Saturday evening.

Monday morning, I showed up to work as usual. I went about my daily routine and seemed to be having a normal day. Nothing overly exciting. I went to lunch and returned to see the message light on my phone blinking. Normally, I would have waited a little while before checking it but for some reason, I decided to retrieve the messages.

"Hi, this is ______ from Child and Family Services. We have a child that is being released from the hospital tomorrow and we need to know if you are willing to take her in. Please call me back as soon as possible. " Holy you know what!

I immediately called my husband and told him about the call. Then, I called the Social Worker back and got a little more information. She was born on Saturday (the 17th), she tested positive for ice, and a few other details. Yes, we will take her. What do I need to do?

I left work immediately and so did my husband. We met at home and were in complete shock. The social worker came to the house that afternoon to give us paperwork and a little more information. It was amazing yet unbelievable. Is this really happening? Will she be with us forever? Are we ready? What do we need? So much was going through our heads. Joy. Fear. Excitement. Panic.

Of course, one of the first calls I made was to Lyn. "You are not going to believe this." She was in as much shock as I was. Here we were, the day the baby was born talking about it and low and behold...

We, along with Lyn and her husband, ended up at Walmart that evening buying the essentials. She gave me "been there, done that" advice and steered me to the things I would absolutely need. She also offered up her old stuff to tide us over.

That night, we laid in bed pinching ourselves and also telling each other to "Go to sleep," because it might be the last good night sleep for a long time. Tuesday couldn't come quicker.

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Four)

Here is where the real journey began.

My husband called the phone number on the commercial and signed us up for an orientation meeting. Following the orientation, we began taking classes in order to get certified as foster parents with the intent of adopting.

For several weeks, we attended classes that educated us about foster care and adoption of children who are taken away from their birth families. It was very informative yet very disturbing. For example, during one evening class, we did role playing of what kids in foster care go through. One skit, performed by our fellow classmates, reenacted a scene of a 5 year old child being removed from her parent's home by a CPS social worker and a police officer.

Throughout the training, we learned a lot about both parents who had adopted drug babies as well as children who had been adopted. One guest speaker was an adoptive mother who had taken in a drug baby. She talked about the long term issues she has had to deal with as a result of the drug exposure. Sleepless nights, learning disabilities, and other such issues.

By the end of the training, we had agreed that we only wanted to take in an infant, preferably a newborn from the hospital. As selfish as it may sound, we both agreed that we wanted to start fresh with our child. We wanted to be the only parents he or she would know. The truth is, almost every child that is placed in long term foster care is there as the result of some kind of abuse. The less exposure to the abuse, the better chances for our child. And, we also had to take into account the fact that we had other family members that would be affected by whomever we welcomed into our home. Older children can tend to come with challenges that we did not want to expose our young nieces (who lived downstairs from us at the time) and nephews to.

Training began in September and ended in early December. In addition to the weekly training, we also had to undergo background checks, medical clearances, and a home study. In January, we completed the final phase of certification. We were licensed to take in up to 2 children.

And then, we waited, and waited, and waited, for months to get a call. Nothing. Friends we had made in our class started getting kids, but not us. First was Paul and Bernie. Then Sam and Christy. Everyone seemed to be getting their babies but us. I began to forget about it. There was nothing more we could do but go about our normal lives and hope that there would be a call, someday.

The Story of How We Became Six (Part Three)

Failed technological interventions left us searching for answers. We were at our lowest point and we needed to do something different if we wanted to become parents.

Before we were even married, both my husband and I had talked about wanting to adopt as children. I know for me, I would always see African American children and say, I want to adopt one. For some reason, I never pictured myself adopting a Caucasian child. Strange, but true.

Here we were, the doctors told us that there was nothing different they could do unless we opted to have a surrogate mother. Ugh, no thanks! So, we started looking into adopting. We attended an informational meeting about foreign adoptions, which was discouraging. For starters, in order to adopt in countries like China, you have to be married for a certain amount of time and be 30 years old. We hadn't been married long enough at that point and I wasn't old enough. Then, there was the Cambodia thing where the government had closed down the adoptions. On top of it all, those adoptions cost several thousands of dollars. After just paying for in-vitro, where were we going to come up with the money?

Then, one day, my husband was watching a t.v. commercial about the need for people to adopt local kids. He called the phone number and they say, the rest is history!

Who Got the Camera

I have my suspicions. Probably the son, who likes to take my camera every chance he gets. Nonetheless, I found these photos when I was uploading for my last posts and thought I would share with you all.

Here is the wonderful green carpet in the hallway. Don't blame me, we rent this place...I didn't choose this.

Sonny's bed waiting for a new sheet.

Sonny's room after he and Em have "played" in there. I swear, kids are like hurricanes, they come it, toss things up and never clean up after themselves. Needless to say, the older girls are more like category 5 hurricanes and make even more of a mess. They call it "having a party". I call it, "a disaster".

Thanks Sonny for the pictures!

A Nice Way to Spend a Saturday

My dear friend Lori Ann and her two daughters came to visit. Well, Lori had a conference here so she brought her kids (with encouragement from me) along. We spent the earlier part of the day swimming at the hotel pool. By 1:00, it was agreed upon that the kids must take a nap. So, we headed up to the room and got the kiddos situated. To my amazement, all 4 of my kids and her youngest took a nap. I admit, even I fell asleep while waiting for them to all go down. We returned to the pool after naps and swam for a short time before heading over to the Moonlight Talk Story.

The Talk Story is a free event put on by the hotel every full moon. A surprise artist comes to share their "mana'o" or thoughts through music and story telling. The event is frequented by many residents so it can get a little crowded. We headed over there a little early for the event and the kids had a great time playing. Here is a picture of 3/4 of my kids and Lori's 2 girls..Lala (far left) and Ali (far right).

Can you tell who likes to take pictures? "Tada Mommy!"

Oh, my Bell. She is getting much more girly now. Do you like the pose with the hands behind, shoulder up?


Sonny could not stay away from the rocks. He kept throwing them all over the place. Em tried to join in too.


So, who was the surprise artist??? Brother Nolan. I've never seen him perform in person but I did know a lot of his songs. What I liked about this event was that he would tell stories about the songs. Like, Bye, bye Pua Lane. I never knew it was about his growing up in Kalihi and wanting to leave the low income housing. He wrote the song when he was in 8th grade. Neat!

The kids enjoyed themselves. Here is Lee sitting with Lori (yellow hat) and Lala listening to the music.

Nice smile Bell!

Father and son moment...Daddy wasn't really enjoying the event. He was tired from a long day of work and Sonny was all over the place. This was a rare moment of him sitting down. Maybe it was because Daddy had some food.

And then the sun began to set. This is a picture of the hotel (looking north).

I'm a sunset addict! Living on the west side has fueled a new passion for beautiful sunsets. It never fails to amaze me how beautiful sunsets can be.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a nice shot of the moon. It was equally as amazing as the sunset.

I couldn't have asked for a better Saturday. It was great!

Happy Anniversary!

Last November, I was picking up Bell from school and when I closed the gate, I got stung by a bee. Little did I know that the next day, my finger would swell up. I ended up having to go to the clinic and getting assistance getting my wedding rings removed.

Usually, I wear my wedding band, then my great grandmother's ring, then my engagement ring. Well, the nurses at the clinic worked hard to remove the rings. First, my engagement ring. When it finally came off, my finger looked mangled. Then, I thought, I hope they can get Grandma's one off. Eventually, it came off. After those two came off, the doctor thought that the band was okay because there was some give in the area and she thought that the swelling wouldn't get any worse. I left the clinic after picking up some medicine.

Within 30 minutes of leaving the clinic, my finger swelled so much that I had to return to the clinic. Due to the "trauma" that my finger had from the first two rings, the doctor recommended that the band be cut off.


This is the nurse who was given the task of cutting it.


Most people ask me if I cried. I did. I never knew how important my wedding band was until that day. Most people are attached to their diamond rings but for me, that band symbolized something at that very moment. The diamond was given to me well before we got married, but that band was "THE RING" that my husband gave me on that special day.

When I left (with the ring in two pieces in a specimen cup), I felt naked and sad. But, I knew it was better than loosing my finger.


So, months have passed and I only wear my Grandma's ring and my diamond. Deep down inside, I wanted to get my ring fixed but, where? when? how much would it cost? I secretly wished that my husband would fix it for me and surprise me with it for our anniversary.

LOW AND BEHOLD...Today is our 9th anniversary and my husband left a jewelry box on the bathroom counter. At first, I thought, how nice of him to get me jewelry, but, I'd rather have my ring fixed. I opened the box and found......my wedding band. I don't think there could have been a better gift to celebrate my anniversary. I LOVE IT.

And, the next time I get a bee sting, I'm taking all my rings off, immediately.

First "Real" Day of Kindergarten

Once again, she picked out her own clothes. Today was a brown, kinda slinky dress. She looked cute.


Bell's first "real" day of school started today. I dropped her off at the cafeteria where her teacher was there to "get" the kids. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her to have a good day. She smiled, then followed her teacher threw the double doors grasping the straps of her backpack. She never looked back, never cried, just looked straight ahead and left.

I walked back to the van and for a split second worried if she would be okay. I got a little misty eyed but no tears. My baby is growing up.


Here I am picking her up. Daddy came with us and took the picture. She was smiling but didn't speak much. I think she was tired and overwhelmed by the long day. I still have yet to hear about what she did today. She hasn't told us anything. But, when asked if she ate lunch, she nodded. She said it was chicken. No school tomorrow. Bell will be full force starting next Monday. Yippy!

Bell's Orientation Day for Kindergarten (on Monday)

She picked out her own outfit and was ready to go.

Look at my back pack...it's full of all my supplies.

Here she is outside her classroom.

Playing around inside the classroom.

And, this is Bell with her teacher, Mrs. P (longer name but rather not tell the whole thing on the blog.

Seems like a really nice teacher and Bell seemed to be okay with her. She (Bell) actually talked to her during the assessment portion without mommy in the room.

Marking the end of summer

Every year, our Kuliouou family holds a family reunion called the Kuli'ou'oulympics. The 'Oulympics marks the end of summer and we always look forward to the reunion weekend. The family marches from the valley down to the beach park where we have a day filled with games, food, family and fun. There are even award with a 1st, 2nd, 3rd place podium where the game awards are given out. It is a great event.

Well, this year, the airfares to HNL are so high that we opted not to go to the 'Oulympics. Instead, we decided to organize a Kona cousins get together at our local park in honor of our family reunion.

We had some games for the kids. Here they are getting ready to chase their big cousin Zane and throw water balloons at him. Bell is in the middle (yellow bottoms) having a blast. The boy next to her is La'anui. The two of them will be in Kindergarten at the same school this year.

Playing duck-duck-goose. Another fun game!

Just hanging with cousins.

Aunty Jane and Aunty BJ with Em, Bell and Lee.

Gary and Wadey Boy.

Kaleo and BJ...sharing a slim beer for the picture. BJ did't have a beer yet so she "shared" with Kaleo.


We started the gathering at 4 and stayed well past sunset. The park lights never went on so we were hanging in the dark but that did not stop anybody from having a good time.


Here is a picture of Zane and Dane. These two young men are great. They play so well with the kids and they were such a big help with our 4. Husband and I were able to enjoy most of the night because they entertained the kids most of the night. Thanks Zane and Dane!

Me, BJ and Jane.

By the time we left, Sonny was soo tired he knocked out before I drove out of the parking lot.

What ever you do, don't let go of the bag of chips Lee!

Lee's 1st day at 4-year old school

Lee's first day at her "new" school...at the 4 year-old campus

Here's her head teacher Ms. Kim. We are very excited to have this teacher.

Notice everyone got dressed up for Lee's big day.

The first day of school was just 2 hours long but Lee had a huge smile when I came to pick her up. One of the things she liked best..."mommy, we got to sing the goodbye song". The goodbye song is:

Aloha, aloha, a hui hou
We'll see you tomorrow
and then say 'hello'
Aloha, a hui hou
E Malama pono

I think she really liked it because it reminded her of our days with Keiki o ka aina where we sang that song every day at the end. But, our version was in Hawaiian only and went:

Aloha, aloha, a hui hou
Ike ia'oe la apopo
Ma laila aloha hou.
Aloha, a hui hou
E Malama pono